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23

Jun

lnternoot:

I love orange is the new black!!!

lnternoot:

I love orange is the new black!!!

22

Jun

hopel3ssly:

riarai:

Everyone always talks about hazel and augustus but people rarely appreciate the beautiful friendship between isaac and augustus.

this makes me so sad

hopel3ssly:

riarai:

Everyone always talks about hazel and augustus but people rarely appreciate the beautiful friendship between isaac and augustus.

this makes me so sad

(Source: patrick-or-nothing)

gurl:

Would You Rather: Weird Foreplay

(Source: sandandglass)

20

Jun

bewbin:

thefinestlad:

bewbin:

I just slept for 15 hours what I miss?

This dick

oh thank god i thought i missed something big 

(Source: welcometothenba)

biomorphosis:

When you flip bats upside down they become exceptionally sassy dancers [x].

ccesamestreet:

spydercyde:

obsessionthenarglesmademedoit:

But why the last one thoughwhat am I not getting

I can’t breath…I have not laughed this hard in years 

Okay, quick story about the last one- I go to this school too, and the creative writing teacher is rad as hell (like the kind to give out free coffee on fridays)
After all of the kids have submitted their short stories, he reads them all for the first time to his two kids, who help him grade them, in a way.
One time, a girl wrote a story about a sheep, named Trixie, making her dream come true by moving to the big city to become an actress, a singer, or whatever (he was pretty vague on the description) 
She took a bus and a few trains and finally ended up in the ‘Big City’, where she tries to make her dream come true.
Now I dont remember the exact sequence of events that came next, but Trixie the sheep eventually ended up becoming a prostitute mid-sentence.
Our teacher didnt really realize this at the time, since it was his first time reading it, and to his kids he was caught completely off guard. And lets just say he had to explain a few new concepts to his kids that night..
And that’s why we can’t write any more stories about Trixie going to the Big City.

ccesamestreet:

spydercyde:

obsessionthenarglesmademedoit:

But why the last one though
what am I not getting

I can’t breath…I have not laughed this hard in years 

Okay, quick story about the last one- I go to this school too, and the creative writing teacher is rad as hell (like the kind to give out free coffee on fridays)

After all of the kids have submitted their short stories, he reads them all for the first time to his two kids, who help him grade them, in a way.

One time, a girl wrote a story about a sheep, named Trixie, making her dream come true by moving to the big city to become an actress, a singer, or whatever (he was pretty vague on the description) 

She took a bus and a few trains and finally ended up in the ‘Big City’, where she tries to make her dream come true.

Now I dont remember the exact sequence of events that came next, but Trixie the sheep eventually ended up becoming a prostitute mid-sentence.

Our teacher didnt really realize this at the time, since it was his first time reading it, and to his kids he was caught completely off guard. And lets just say he had to explain a few new concepts to his kids that night..

And that’s why we can’t write any more stories about Trixie going to the Big City.

(Source: media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com)

19

Jun

straightdating:

charybdiss:

Please watch this I’m in tears

THIS IS A COMMERCIAL I’M LAUGHING

Sometimes I’m just so tired. You work me hard, you take advantage of your title and you just become my burden in life. I’m so tired I don’t want to wake up again. Because that means seeing you and figuring out life for you. And I just can’t do it anymore.

18

Jun

ladyhistory:

Even more captioned adventures of George Washington.

PART I | PART II | PART III | PART IV

props-and-gayhem:

tennyowithaluger:

lolsofunny:


Do not lie to me tumblr

I don’t know, I think it’s rather flattering.
jesus god can I please get more of these

Obviously the only way to wear a shirt.
Men of Tumblr…
dead

The men of tumblr win

i could dig it. 

Seem’s legit tbf

Boy, this look is fabulous but I can’t seem to get the bow just right.
At first I was mad because I thought I looked ugly

But I simply added a cute jacket and I became glamorous!

^winning
THAT LAST ONE WITH THE JACKET TOO, HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Why are these guys doing this?

I mean, why even try, when the baddest bitch is right here?






I will never not reblog this
favuorite post on tumblr omfg
LMFAO

Yeah so this is pretty much awesome

why are all the comments from the same person?

props-and-gayhem:

tennyowithaluger:

lolsofunny:

image

Do not lie to me tumblr

image

I don’t know, I think it’s rather flattering.

jesus god can I please get more of these

image

Obviously the only way to wear a shirt.

Men of Tumblr…

dead

image

The men of tumblr win

image

i could dig it. 

image

Seem’s legit tbf

image

Boy, this look is fabulous but I can’t seem to get the bow just right.

At first I was mad because I thought I looked ugly

image

But I simply added a cute jacket and I became glamorous!

image

^winning

THAT LAST ONE WITH THE JACKET TOO, HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Why are these guys doing this?

image

I mean, why even try, when the baddest bitch is right here?

image

image

image

image

image

image

I will never not reblog this

favuorite post on tumblr omfg

LMFAO

Yeah so this is pretty much awesome

why are all the comments from the same person?

(Source: flightlessmajesty)

swallllllllllow:

his pledge to her:i will kill the spiders. i will share my fries with you when you’ve finished all yours and are still hungry. i won’t ever pop my collar.  i will never be rude to your tummy- when i hear it growl and gurgle, i promise to bend down and reply respectfully. i will eat the mushrooms when we order the supreme pizza. i will kiss the papercuts. and the door-slammed finger. and the counter-bumped hip. i’ll try my hardest not to get annoyed when you whisper questions and comments during movies. i will be the big spoon. i will let you win at wrestling. sometimes. other times i will not. i will go faster. harder. i will pull when you want. and tease you when you don’t. i will send you random texts and leave you silly gifts. not always. not on schedule. just whenever i want to. whenever i think you need one. or seven. i will check your tire pressure. and remind you to take your car in. i will hold your hand. i will love you. i will love you. i will love you.

swallllllllllow:

his pledge to her:
i will kill the spiders. i will share my fries with you when you’ve finished all yours and are still hungry. i won’t ever pop my collar.  i will never be rude to your tummy- when i hear it growl and gurgle, i promise to bend down and reply respectfully. i will eat the mushrooms when we order the supreme pizza. i will kiss the papercuts. and the door-slammed finger. and the counter-bumped hip. i’ll try my hardest not to get annoyed when you whisper questions and comments during movies. i will be the big spoon. i will let you win at wrestling. sometimes. other times i will not. i will go faster. harder. i will pull when you want. and tease you when you don’t. i will send you random texts and leave you silly gifts. not always. not on schedule. just whenever i want to. whenever i think you need one. or seven. i will check your tire pressure. and remind you to take your car in. i will hold your hand. i will love you. i will love you. i will love you.